The Hidden Rules of Living a Life of Elegance

From royal women to grandmothers who are frozen in time, they all bear the same qualities.

I’ve had the privilege of growing up around a diverse array of people—from families of ultra-old wealth, royalty, successful professionals, and even old-school grandmothers who seamlessly brought their era of elegance into the modern age. Across these vastly different lives, one thing has always stood out: a remarkable consistency among women known for their elegance.

I’ve encountered royalty and women who seem timeless, as if their very essence belongs to another era. Yet, there are so many misconceptions today about what defines elegance in a woman—or a man. Some believe it’s tied to a certain tax bracket, requires moving within exclusive circles, or worst of all, demands a haughty demeanor. I can assure you, none of this is true. Elegance transcends these stereotypes. It challenges natural instincts, like the ego, and involves other qualities I included below that might actually surprise you. It’s about a deeper way of being that reflects grace, authenticity, and inner strength.

Obtaining these qualities can do a number of things to your life:

1. Improved Relationships

2. Increased Confidence

3. Professional Success

4. Personal Growth

6. Enhanced Social Perception

An elegant approach to life emphasizes simplicity, authenticity, and quality, leading to greater fulfillment. By creating balance and harmony in your personal and professional life, you build a lasting legacy of grace and integrity.

Elegance Doesn’t Judge

The first thing I learned in finishing school was to not look at someone’s outfit up and down. I am a fashion girlie, so it’s never to judge but out of sheer interest, but I was told that my wandering eye could be seen as judgmental. I thought the first thing I would learn was how to hold a fork… but no, it’s simply to make people feel comfortable.

It is Subtle

The most elegant women I know are very understated dressers. It is always about more subtle their looks while still looking polished and fashionable. You don’t have to necessarily dress like a basic, but like Coco Chanel said, it’s best to take one thing off before leaving the house.

Audrey Hepburn, Farah Pahlavi, Jackie Kennedy, Princess Diana, Lee Radziwill, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy

Labels Are Not a Thing

Women in this category rarely wear labels. And if they do, it is limited to a single visible label. Some brands that exude elegance but are not label centric are, by popular perception; The Row, Brunello Cuccinelli, Oscar de la Renta, Gabriela Hearst, Manolo Blahnik & Ralph Lauren. More fashion forward brands would be Lauren Manoogian, Johanna Ortiz, Khaite, Rosie Assouline, Staud, and Toteme… or most items from Moda Operandi. An an affordable brand I love and feel like you can’t go wrong with is DISSH & Massimo Dutti.

Other labels, including labels